Guten Appetit! (Enjoy the Meal)

In this post I’ll be discussing the German culture through its food…namely one food…namely the best thing I’ve ever cooked in my young adult life. No joke. It’s incredible. If there is a food god he/she/it was smiling down on me from Foodie heaven, where pizza monsters roam free in the sun, the streams are made of gravy and the grass consists of glorious bacon.

On that note, I’ll be kicking this one off with the recipe first, simply because it’s so amazing it can’t possibly be anywhere else than at the top of this list.

I have a good many German grubs in my arsenal of recipes including the classics like snitzel, but I came across this one in the coveted family recipe box on my quest for a meal to cook. I decided anything with pork and beer must be worth a try, and man, was I right.

NOW, this recipe serves a crowd, so I cut mine in half since on any given night I’m only serving about four people (so I used only half the pork loin). If you want to cook for more, simply double the recipe (and use the full pork loin). I highly advise this for your next family get-together, some big Sunday dinner, or  forego your traditional Christmas ham and use this spectacular pork dish instead…

Beer-Smothered German Roasted Pork

Ingredients –

3 ½ pound boneless pork loin

2 tbsp vegetable oil

2 tbsp butter

2 tbsp all-purpose flour

For Marinade—

½ cup Dijon mustard

1 large white onion, finely chopped

½ cup honey

3 cups (about two bottles) beer (not dark), preferably German

To prepare:

Begin by making the marinade. In a large sauce pan, combine the marinade ingredients then bring to a boil, stirring consistently. The sauce will rise and foam, but if you used a large sauce pan as advised, it shouldn’t be an issue. Once heated, remove pan from heat. Once slightly cool (you can do this step while still hot, but I don’t advise it, it can get messy and splash, which happened to me), puree marinade in batches in a blender then transfer blended sauce to a large sealable Ziploc bag.

Add the pork to the marinade in the bag and seal, pressing out an excess air. Place bag in a baking pan or in a dish and chill at least 8 hours or up to 24. I suggest turning the bag over a few times during the marinating process and letting  the pork go for the full 24 hours.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

When ready to cook, let the pork and marinade come back to room temperature then transfer the marinade to a saucepan and cook over medium heat, bringing just to a boil.

Pat pork dry with paper towels and season with salt and pepper. In a large roasting or frying pan, heat vegetable oil and brown pork on all sides. Once browned, place pork in a roasting pan (I conveniently used the  one I used on the turkey this last Thanksgiving)  and cook for 1 ½ to 2 hours, or until meat thermometer registers 155 degrees Fahrenheit. You can baste the pork with some of the marinade for extra flavor (do it do it do it).

Once pork is cooked, transfer to a cutting board and cover loosely with foil, letting it sit for about 15 minutes.

While your pork is resting from it’s bout of deliciousness, bring your marinade on the stove to a boil. In another sauce pan, make a roux by melting down the butter and gradually whisking in the flour until well mixed. Don’t walk away or cease stirring as the roux will burn easily. Strain your boiling sauce/marinade through a fine sieve into the roux, you may need a friend to help with this, I did. Once the sauce is thickened, remove from heat.

Slice pork to desired thickness and serve with your sauce!

I suggest making a side of potatoes in any fashion for a hearty German meal!

Here is the one I made, the pictures do it absolutely no justice whatsoever. This is the most delicious pork I have ever eaten, let alone ever cooked. And yes yes, I know–this recipe is very labor intensive and takes forever but suck it up and cook it! If any delicious meal is worth the effort it’s this one!

So now that I’ve gotten my recipe out of the way, I’ll tell you about some great places to get German cuisine here in Arizona, though the options are fairly scarce.

• Haus Murphy’s (one of my all-time favorite restaurants…ever.)
• Zur Kate
• Bavarian Point

Sadly these three are the only I can speak of, either not knowing of any others and the ones I do were closed. If you know of any, please share. I would love to find more German restaurants to loiter at!

Food in Germany is a central part of the culture, with a vast amount of hearty dishes and drinks being served up on a daily basis in and outside of the country. German foods consist mainly of meat dishes, and of those meat dishes pork is a favorite in all of its various forms. German cuisine varies from region to region, but it goes without question that German foods are a world favorite. But with a nation giving us such wonderful things as bratwurst, sauerkraut and a plethora of beers, how can German foods NOT be a world favorite?

 

 I couldn’t find any fun German-food-related videos, but I thought it would be fun to offer up some German words for various food and drink items. I’m not sure why the music in this video sounds oddly Native American, but you can put it on mute and put on a lively polka to get more into the German spirit c;

As always, here are some food lover fun facts, including some interesting things to know about our food paradise, Germany!

• You would have to try one kind of German bread per day for almost a whole year in order to be able to taste them all! There are over 300 different kinds of bread in Germany.
• Germans really do love beer; they rank second in world-wide beer consumption per person after Ireland. Bier is officially considered a food in Bayern, where the normal size beer glass, the Mass is 1 liter.
• Berlin has approximately 6,500 restaurants, 546 ice cream parlours and cafes, 2,800 sandwich bars, 225 bars, clubs and pubs and other gastronomic outlets offering food and drinks from all over the world. 
• The delicatessen section at Berlin’s KaDeWe covers 7,000 square metres of food space and offers around 34,000 different products. This makes it Europe’s largest food department.
• The traditional German dinner consists of bread, cold cuts, cheese, salads, pickled vegetables, canned fish, or even leftovers from lunch.

German foods are a central part of the American diet, whether we want to admit it or not. American beer consumption alone warrants Germany a high-five on our part. If you don’t have the courage to crank out that fantastic pork loin I offered you, at least get out there and find a German restaurant…heck, just grill up some bratwurst with your family! And yes my vegetarian friends, I know it’s difficult to swallow (I’m so punny)…but pork is delicious. Especially German porks. But not to worry, Germany offers vegetable-laden dishes as well which are herbivore friendly! So herbivore, carnivore, porkivore…who cares, get out there and eat gratuitous amounts of German food!

Baby, We Can Wok It Out

Fried Rice: It’s quick, filling, and above all, delicious. Modern American cuisine would be all but lost if it weren’t for this savory Chinese concoction. But, like every other great cultural food, America has tainted and transformed this succulent dish into it’s own creation. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Fast food “American-Chinese” fried rice is all I’ve ever known and loved, and the most authentic I’ve come to consuming legitimate Chinese fried rice is the ubiquitous Pong Pong’s Chinese Take-Out and Super Buffet and other such varieties on every street corner. Pong, how I love thee.

(I once had a guy turn me down because my love of Chinese food clashed with his apathy toward the cuisine. We couldn’t “wok” it out, hyuck hyuck.)

Traditional Chinese fried rice isn’t too far off from the United States version, but there are countless varieties and traditions that apply to a number of different Asian cultures, including that of Taiwan, Japan, the Philippines, and Indonesia. Other places such as Peru and Ecuador also have variations of fried rice.

China is a delightfully varied and rich culture, offering an abundance of tasty fairs and delectables. The combination of different flavors from different regions of this Asian homestead dish out exotic and tantalizing foods for the world over to enjoy.

But, unless you’ve visited any part of China, you probably won’t know the delicious authenticity of the various foods the culture provides. Much like myself, you probably only know and love the United States-i-fied type Chinese cuisine. So, my suggestion for some of the best fried rice/Chinese food I’ve ever had would be these hole-in-the-wall joints, catering to the American pallet but sticking to traditional Chinese dishes and flavors:

• Sing High Chop Suey House
• Chen and Wok
• Canton Wong
• Nan Jing (They don’t have a website, but here’s how to find them)
• Sun Asian Kitchen

And speaking of Chinese food…

 Yes, I know…this video is highly politically incorrect but…come on, you can’t deny it’s funny. But the fact this video is backwards and the pictures referencing drug paraphernalia at the end bother me some. So unnecessary.

If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, you can make a batch of your own fried rice! It isn’t too difficult and the effort put into the dish is worth it for a hot plate of homemade deliciousness.

Here’s what you do:

Frickin’ Good Fried Rice

Ingredients:

2 cups cooked white rice

½ cup thawed peas/carrots (just get a little bag of the frozen kind)

1 tsp rice vinegar

2 eggs (which will be scrambled later)

1 tsp powdered garlic

1 tsp powdered ginger

¼ tsp five spice powder

2 tbsp soy sauce

1 tsp toasted sesame oil

2 tbsp vegetable/canola oil

To prepare:

Heat your wok over medium/high heat…wait, you don’t have a wok? Really? What in the good name of gravy—go get one, now. You need one, trust me. Keep it somewhere visible in your kitchen so when people come over they’ll think you’re a pro chef because you own your very own wok.

If you’re not after the fancy attention, just use a very large frying pan.

Anyway, heat whatever it is you’re using over medium/high heat, add one tablespoon of the vegetable oil then scramble your eggs. Once cooked, transfer the eggs to plate or bowl and cover to keep warm. Add the remaining vegetable oil to the wok or pan and heat the white rice, coating it the best you can with the vegetable oil. Once rice is heated, add the rice vinegar and soy sauce. I suggest making a hole in the middle of the rice and adding the soy and vinegar in the middle, making a delicious Mount Doom of fried rice. Coat the rice evenly in these two ingredients.

Next, throw in your spices: the ginger, garlic, and five spice. Toss that mixture then add the peas and carrots, then the eggs you scrambled earlier. Give it another good mixing then add the sesame oil.

You’re ready to serve it! I usually serve the rice as a side dish to store bought (frozen then cooked) orange chicken or homemade beef and broccoli.

If you want to make the fried rice a meal on its own, you can add chicken, beef, or pork. Simply cut the meat into bite-sized pieces, cook thoroughly in a frying pan with some butter or oil, then add the meat to your rice after you’ve added in your spices, peas, carrots, and eggs. Easy!

Here’s the batch I made, served with stir-fry vegetables I cooked and coated with oyster sauce and sesame seeds as well as packaged orange chicken (because I was too lazy to home cook that as well haha).

 

And now for your favorite part of the post: FUN FACTS!

• Taken from chinafactours.com: Chinese people began to cook staple foods and dishes in the New Stone Age 5,000 to 6000 years ago. When it comes to food, the Chinese have a common saying, “The masses regard food as their heaven,” which means that food is people’s primal want. It should clearly justify the importance that “eating” holds in Chinese people’s lives. Eating is not just meant to fill the stomach; having food at one’s disposal, being able to consume a good amount of food, and knowing what and how to eat are all viewed as a good “fortune.”
• In China, telling someone you’re “breaking your rice bowl” means that you are quitting your job.
• Chopsticks originated in China almost 4,000 years ago, and the replacement of chopsticks for knives for eating at the table supposedly indicates the increased respect for the scholar over the warrior in Chinese society.
• The “Chinese” fortune cookie isn’t Chinese at all, but was rather invented in California, possibly in 1918 by Chinese immigrant David Jung, who started the Hong Kong Noodle Company or in 1914 by Makoto Hagiwara, a Japanese immigrant. The fortune cookie’s origins are in crumbles!
• In many Asian cultures, including China, chicken and fish symbolize happiness and prosperity when served whole.
• Dishes made with oranges represent wealth and fortune because they’re China’s most abundant fruit.

 

Authentic Chinese food here in the States may a difficult thing to come by and the Western influence on many dishes may be prevalent, but a delicious Chinese meal (homemade or dine-out) is hard to deny. China is full of flavorful finds worth digging into, and to deny yourself that culinary adventure would be a crime. Confucius say: One who does not listen Voracious Vagabond’s advice will not have tasty meal. So happy eating! c;

 

South of the Border (and Your Plans to Diet)

Mexico:  a culture of passion, tradition, and above all, fan-freaking-tastic food.

OKAY, so, I by no means consider Taco Bell to be authentic Mexican food, but in keeping tradition with including a video in my posts, I wanted to add this. Plus, it’s just pretty amazing– the employee’s awesome listening skills and the musical talents of Rhett and Link make for one good video.

But anyway, back to Mexican cuisine…

Mexico possesses an extensive and sophisticated culinary culture, but Mexican food in the United States can vary greatly from authentic dishes found in this country. There are some gems out there–the deliciously real Mexican food Arizona is spoiled by since we’re so close to golden Mexico. Our favorite south-of-the-border dishes seamlessly immigrate into the Copper State and make the east coast devilishly envious of our fabulously fattening and hearty Mexican meals.

If you’re a native Arizonan, though, you’ve probably made your fair share of Mexican meals or have mooched some off of your dearly beloved’s abuelita (totally guilty). If you haven’t attempted your own Mexican cuisine, there’s no time like the present! Tacos, burritos, chimichangas, enchiladas and so much more beckon! Try this recipe for starters: pretty simple but big on flavor.

 

 

 

Finger-Lickin’ Chicken Enchiladas

 

Ingredients –

12 corn tortillas (white or yellow, but yellow tastes better, in my opinion)

3 cooked chicken breast halves, no bones or skin, shredded (boiling works best for this)

¾ cup minced white or yellow onion (totally optional, I usually forgo the onion because I’m not a fan)

 12 oz shredded cheddar cheese (I use cheddar and a Mexican cheese blend, half and half)

2 cups chicken broth

 1 cup sour cream (and about ¼ cream cheese if you want/have it around—makes the sauce creamier)

4 oz chopped green chilies (if you like things more on the spicy side, go with 4 oz chopped jalapenos)

¼ cup butter

¼ cup all purpose flour

 ½ cup chopped green onions

Vegetable oil for frying

 To prepare:

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees (yes, Fahrenheit. You have to know the proper spelling of Fahrenheit to make this meal). Heat about 2 tablespoons of the vegetable oil in a large frying pan over a medium/high heat. Once hot, fry the tortillas. Be prepared, it only takes about 5 seconds per side, literally, until they are pliable. Fry each tortilla individually and add more oil as needed. Drain the tortillas on paper towels (or coffee filters, which is what I use) and keep them warm. I toss mine in the microwave to keep them warm.

Divide the chicken, yellow onion and ¾ of the cheese between the tortillas. Roll them up and place in a greased baking pan, seam side down.

Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour and whisk until it begins to boil. Yes, you’re making a roux. DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM IT. It’ll burn faster than a redhead in summer, seriously. Stay on that roux like a supermodel on skinny. Once the roux bubbles, add the chicken broth, stirring continuously and most vigorously.

Add the chilies (or jalapenos) and sour cream (and cream cheese if you have/want it). Stir occasionally, but do not let the sauce boil. Pour this mixture over the enchiladas when hot and well mixed. Bake the enchiladas for 20 minutes, then top with the rest of the cheese and bake for a further five minutes. Use the green onions as a garnish. It’ll look fancy and you’ll impress all your friends.

 

I attempted to photograph the enchiladas I made, but the picture made them look like a messy love pile of deliciousness–you know it’s good, it just didn’t look it. Here’s a few picks of a similar dish to the one I made, looks about the same, only ten times better

 

If you’re pressed for time or just have no desire to impress your family and friends with your cooking abilities, you can try out these restaurants. If you have no heart, you can always go to Deltacobellcrapjoint. c: These are the best places I’ve been to, but Arizona is graced with plenty of authentic and new-flair places offering tasty Mexican fair:

• Poncho’s (I would live here if they’d let me, I swear.)
• Asi Es La Vida
• Jordan’s Fine Mexican Food
• Pedro’s Mexican Restaurant (no website, but here’s how to find it)
• La Torta Rica

To help add to my flawless persuasion of “Hey you should totally make or try Mexican foods!”, here are a few cultural foodie fun facts about Mexico.

• Mexican candy is not only a piece of Mexican food, but also a piece of Mexican art. “Calaveras de Azúcar”, or sugar skulls, are specially prepared for the Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead celebration honoring deceased family and friends. Other Mexican candies can be spicy or even have edible bugs like crickets!
• Corn, tomato, and cocoa are the three most important crops that Mexico introduced to the world. All three were brought from the wild and domesticated by ancient Mesoamerican civilizations over three millenia ago.
• “Montezuma’s Revenge” is the name of the sickness commonly associated to eating spicy, hot Mexican food and having a painful digestive disorders. This usually happens because those who eat the dishes (such as tourists) are unaccustomed to the potent Mexican chilis and sauces.
• Scientists have found connections between capsaicin (the ingredient that makes chillies hot) and a component of tarantula venom. And you wonder why you’re such a sissy eating hot salsa…This and the following fun facts were all pulled from the Discovery Channel website!
• The origins of the deep fried burrito-like meal, the ‘chimichanga’, continue to be the subject of much debate. According to one theory it was invented by accident in 1922, when a chef accidentally dropped a pastry into a deep-fat fryer. She began to utter a Spanish swear word beginning “chi…”, but quickly stopped herself and instead exclaimed ‘chimichanga!’, the Spanish equivalent of ‘thingamajig’.
•  Norway consumes more Mexican food than any other European country.
• Recent research by the U.S. Department of Agriculture discovered that Americans are now eating four times as much Mexican food than they were 20 years ago. Salsa now outsells ketchup as the most popular condiment in the home of hamburgers.

Mexican food has been readily adopted into American culture and Arizona reaps its best hybrid benefits, eagerly consuming pound upon pounds of fantastic Mexican dishes.

 

Hopefully this post inspired you to cook up your own Mexican meal to impress your friends and stomach alike. If anything, take advantage of the many fantastic Mexican restaurants available! Lord knows this voracious vagabond is ready for chicken enchiladas, round two!

Spagehetti: Delicious Foods, Westerns, and Flying Monsters?

Ever wondered where the meatball came from? How about the amount of pasta it would take to cover the earth?             Why tomatoes are the basis of every great spaghetti sauce? Chances are, no, you really haven’t, but you’re going to find out anyway. I’m going to kick this post off in a different way, with the FUN FACTS first.

(They’re just too fantastic to wait until the end.)

• In 1519 the Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez brought tomatoes back from Mexico to his homeland in Europe. Even then, almost 200 years passed before spaghetti with tomato sauce made its way into Italian kitchens.
• If you lined up 1.3 million pounds of 16 oz. spaghetti packages, it could circle the Earth’s equator almost nine times.
• In Italy, meatballs are know as “polpette” and eaten alone or with past but outside of Italy, they are commonly served with spaghetti as in “spaghetti and meatballs”
• Canned tomatoes and tomato sauces are among the best sources of Lycopene, a pigment that is responsible for the tomatoes’ red color and that is said to help protect against certain types of cancer.
• In 2005 the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was born, celebrating a mock religion that worships, you guessed it, a flying monster comprised of spaghetti and meatballs. Have you been touched by His noodly appendage?(link not for the devoutly religious or serious)

• The “Spaghetti Western” or “Italio-Western” (proper name being Western All’italian [“Italian-Style Western”] surfaced in the mid-1960s thanks to Sergio Leone’s unique film-making style and international box-office success. Spaghetti Westerns were named such by American critics because most were produced and directed by Italians. Look, it even has a tribute.

(Clint Eastwood, our spaghetti hero.)

Yet, despite all of these fabulous things to do with our dear friend spaghetti, I should first clear the air about a few things: first and foremost, “spaghetti” actually refers to the long cylindrical pasta, not the tomato sauce; secondly, spaghetti and meatballs (with or without some sort of tomato sauce) is not a staunchly Italian dish, but rather Italian-American, as introduced by Italian immigrants coming to the United States and sharing (and of course expanding) their delicious recipes with the American public by taking advantage of the newly available luxuries and ingredients (“Italian” meatballs are rumored to have begun in the U.S. thanks to the abundance of beef  that Italy did not see in the old days). Hearty meat sauces (Bolognese or Ragu) and other tomato sauces were prevalent in Italy, however, but were typically mixed with other pastas like fettuccine and tagliatelle.  

Oh gosh, look at that, more fun facts…sorry about that, they tend to sneak in there sometimes.

So if you hadn’t guessed it by now, the culture we’re exploring today is that of the savory, flavorful Italian culture.  I speak not only of their food but of their art, architecture, and so much more, not to mention the Italians’ rich passion for life.

…But I won’t talk about any of those things.

Really, who cares about art, architecture, and fancy living when there is delicious food to be created and consumed?

You can get a fantastic Italian meal from a number of different places around the Valley, but unless you’ve got a Nana Sofie in the family willing to whip up some south-of-the-U.K. delicacies every Sunday, you’ll have to create these masterpieces yourself—because, quite frankly, Italian food just isn’t the same unless it’s coming from your own kitchen as made with your family.

There are so many different yet equally delicious recipes to choose from, but we’ll stick to one of the basics: Spaghetti with a meaty tomato sauce. This is a recipe I’ve had in my family for a few generations now, and all of the relatives joke that my dad would take the recipe to his grave, but he never intended it to be a secret, he wants it to be enjoyed by anyone and everyone. The “secret recipe” name just sort of stuck, though. Maybe it’s because “I don’t care who has it or eats it as long as they make it themselves” didn’t have the same ring to it.

“Family Secret” Spaghetti Sauce

Ingredients:

1 lb Ground Beef (I prefer the leanest available/I can find)

1 lb Italian Sausage (I do half hot/half sweet, but you can do what you prefer)

1 Medium Onion

4 Cloves of Garlic

2 Cans of Stewed Tomatoes (14 oz)

4 Cans of Tomato Sauce (14 oz)

1 Can tomato Paste (6 oz)

2 tbsp Fennel Seed

4 tbsp each of Basil, Parsley and Oregano

1 Can Black Olives (6 oz whole that you can chop, or two cans pre-sliced if you’re feeling lazy)

1 Can Mushrooms (14 oz)

1 cup Red Wine (your preference, if you use the good stuff it’s a cup for the sauce and a cup for you)

To prepare:

Heat a large sauce pot over medium to high heat. Crush or mince the garlic and chop the onions into manageable chunks. Once your water works have stopped and you’ve tried to vigorously scrub the smell off your hands, place your potent ingredients into said pot and sauté until golden brown. Once your onions get cook and caramelized, add in your beef and sausage. Chop up the meat with your spoon or other stirring device (your foot, I don’t care, it’s your sauce) and brown the meat thoroughly.

Once the meat is cooked through, stir in the stewed tomatoes, sauce, paste, and wine and bring to a simmer. Add the remaining ingredients and stew over medium heat, stirring occasionally. A good rule of thumb is to let it go for at least two hours, but the longer it cooks, the better.

Cook up your favorite pasta according to the package’s instructions. I advise using spaghetti noodles, as it is “Spaghetti Sauce” after all. Serve with garlic bread or your favorite meatball recipe and enjoy!

If you have any leftovers freeze them in a Tupperware container and drag it out one morning before work to heat that night and pour over pasta for a quick meal.

This sauce can also be used in lasagnas. Trust me, I’ve tried it. It’s fantastic.

 

And it’s as simple as that!

Here’s a picture of the batch I made. This photo wasn’t too terrible, so I opted to share it. Oh, and as a side note, if you’re sensitive in the stomach grab an antacid…this sauce packs a tomato-garlic one-two punch, but it’s so delicious you’ll forgive it, honest.

 

Once again, if you’re a bit lackadaisical like I tend to be, here are some fabulous restaurants for some great spaghetti and other Italian fair:

• Cucina Tagliani
• The Old Spaghetti Factory (Yes, it’s a food chain but you can’t deny it’s tasty)
• Past Brioni
• Bravi
• Carrabba’s Italian Grill

And if you’re really feeling saucy (oh-ho, pun intended) there’s always your favorite standby, Olive Garden.

Well, I may not have given you much about the Italian culture or the country itself, but god help me if I didn’t give you one of the best spaghetti sauce recipes you’ll ever have or some of the best places you can loiter to get some great grub. So get out there, find some new recipes to try out on the family, venture into new culinary territory, just EAT.

(Do it. Now. The cute little meatballs are begging you to.)

Blog-o-burger

…..And now that you’re watching…..

Welcome to the first official food post! We’ll begin our culinary trip through different cultures in our very own Hometown, USA with none other than the tasty, tempting, stupidly fantastic treat of HAMBURGERS.

I know what you’re probably thinking. Hamburgers? Really? But I can get those anywhere, why would I want to make a burger of my own?

WELL WHY NOT!?

Can you even begin to imagine what those frozen hockey pucks of who-knows-what do to you after years of drive-thru lanes and lazy Monday meals? Why not create a delectable, good-ol’-fashioned hamburger of your very own and jazz it up with everything you love instead of choking down smushed, unattractive, pathetic “fast” burgers?

How can you possibly go on denying yourself the wonderful sensation of crafting and consuming your very own tantalizing burgery heaven, especially with how easy (not to mention healthier) it is?

I won’t allow it, I won’t let you go on without knowing that joy. I’ve been using a painstakingly perfected burger recipe for years and it has yet to fail me. But, as with all cooking, there’s an artist’s license to change, add, and subtract where you please.

So here’s how to do it:

Bodacious Burgers

Ingredients:

1 lb Ground Beef (I prefer the leanest available/I can find)

1 lb Pork Sausage (The tastiest and unhealthiest portion, as found next to your other favorite: bacon)

2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

1 tbsp Ground Black Pepper

½ tbsp Salt

And add more or less to taste or your preference of about a tablespoon of the following:

–  Smoked Paprika (regular is fine, but believe me, it’s worth it to shell out for the smoked stuff, you’ll never go back.            I use it in just about everything, you’ll see that in my following blogs)

–  Cumin

– Chili

–  Garlic powder (fresh is better if you’re willing to get garlicy fingers and deter vampires with a mere point)

–  Onion  powder

To prepare:

Get out a flat cookie sheet or cutting board that will fit in your fridge and cover it with parchment paper.

If you’re a fan of the sanctity of the space under your fingernails, I advise gloves for this next step. Unless, of course, your significant other is into that raw-meat-running-through-my-hair kind of thing. Anyway, combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and begin squashing them together until well blended. Yes, you need to squash them. Use this time to reflect on your idiot boss or coworker, or the guy who cut you off on the freeway. Make the burgers pay for the injustices that the cruel world may have bestowed upon you that fateful day. Don’t worry, the burgers won’t mind this therapy session too much.

Scoop up about a handful (quarter pound) of the burger mixture and form it into a tidy little ball, then start pressing it down into a patty shape until it’s about a quarter to half inch thick. Don’t worry it if doesn’t come out perfectly circular, only spring-mold, press-formed creepy fast food chain patties look that geometrically correct.

Place your finished patties on the cookie sheet /cutting board and place in the fridge for about twenty minutes to help them set back up and firm so they won’t fall apart during cooking

AND THEN….  

Grill it. Don’t shame these hamburgers in a pitiful frying pan! You will anger the burger gods!

But, I guess if you really need to pan fry the burgers do so in a medium to high heat skillet and cook for about 8-10 minutes on each side or until done. But your excuse for a pan sear better be a good one. I mean hurricane, alien invasion, a chupacabra ate your grill, something.

My Suggestion:

Grill over medium heat for about eight minutes a side for medium-to-well-done burgers. Once your hamburgers are done wafting their delicious burger smell over the neighbors’ backyards and making them jealous, remove the succulent meat patties and transfer to a plate. Cover the plate with tin foil and let the hamburgers rest. I know this will be difficult, but trust me, those burgers have been through a lot, you punished them for pity’s sake, give them a breather.

After about a five minute rest, serve them up on your choice of bun with your desired fixin’s and enjoy!

BOOM. You’ve got yourself an explosion of ridiculously tasty burger that, granted, took longer than “Would you like fry’s with that?” but is undeniably more delicious than a McLamepieceofjunk.

I attempted to photograph the hamburgers I made Saturday, but as I feared the picture turned out…just…awful. But the hamburgers were fabulous, trust me. It’s only my photography that sucks. Here’s a cutie burger instead to make up for it:If you’re crazy pressed for time like I usually am or would rather try your luck at a restauraunt, here are some of the best places I know around Arizona to get a great hamburger at a good price (and no, I’m not talking about your McBurgerCarlSonicWendy’s on every corner). Click the restaurants to follow the links to their sites to see locations.

• Lenny’s Burger

• 5 & Diner

• The Chuckbox (Don’t let this guy’s appearance fool you. The burgers are fantastic.)

• Smashburger

• Giant Hamburgers (Don’t let this simple website fool you, either. The burgers are delicious.)

To help add to my argument of “Hey you should totally make or try American foods on your own!”, here are a few cultural foodie fun facts about America and our chonchable friend the burger. (“Chonchable” [chahn-cha-buhl] is a word my best friend and I invented one night. It basically means that a particular foodstuff is quite tasty and easy to consume because of its deliciousness. That being the adjective form, the verb form would to “to chonch” and the noun would be…well there isn’t a noun form. Deal with it.)

• America uses a lot of food-related phrases when describing itself.  It has long been known as a “melting pot” because it is the home of people from all over the world who blend together, but more recently it has also been described as a “salad” because each group also manages to remain unique.  It seems that everyone can agree on apple pie, though, since the phrase “as American as apple pie” has long been popular for describing something “typically” American (thank you, Dino Lingo)

• The first iced tea was served in 1904 at the St. Louis World’s Fair

• In 1919 there was a molasses disaster in Boston. 2 million gallons burst from a tank and engulfed a neighborhood and killed 21 people

• The average American consumes about 30 pounds of hamburgers a year.

• The first restaurant chain to serve the burger was White Castle in Wichita, Kansas

• The Hamburger Hall of Fame is located in Seymour, Wis.

• The history of the hamburger is very complex. It may have derived it’s name from Hamburg, Germany, but the burger’s origins are often disputed. Some say it was a group of nomadic people called the Tartars who tenderized their beef by placing it under a horse’s saddle–flattening it into a patty. Others believe it was the German immigrants who traveled to the United States during the 19th century bringing with them their favorite meal called Hamburg Style Beef– a raw, chopped, piece of beef. Some argue Americans placed the first cooked beef patty on a roll at the St. Louis World’s Fair in 1921.

No matter where it came from or who did it first, it’s plain to see the hamburger has been readily adopted into American culture and eagerly consumed by millions for decades.

Hopefully this post inspired you to cook up your own burgers or at least go hit up a burger joint, but either way, this food is a heady part of the American culture as well as the hearts (and stomachs) of those a part of the culture, including this voracious vagabond.

It Liiives!

The Birth of Voracious Vagabond

Well, when faced with a free-range cross-cultural project for one of my college courses, my writing-prone mind immediately went toward “essay” or some other means of lengthy literary work. I figured an essay would work in my best interest, considering writing was one of the few things I was best at versus my variety of merely “good” hobbies. I was instantly racked with A-Personality guilt, however, knowing I was taking the easy route instead of challenging myself with something more creative. I racked my brain in an attempt to pinpoint other things I was more than just “good” at.

Art? Well, sure. But a pretty poster board was better suited for freshman year. Plus, with three weeks to complete the assignment I’d hardly have enough time to sculpt or paint something (who knows what) of any worthy substance.

Gaming? Hardly fit for a cross-cultural assignment (although, I did manage to pull off an eight page essay on the topic for the same class…but I don’t think I could pull that off a second time).

Cooking? Now we’re getting somewhere. In mad scientist fashion I can whip up some of the tastiest meals on a whim and have a knack for doctoring preexisting recipes. On rare occasions do my meals disappoint and in those instances it’s only the picky eaters who voice displeasure.

…And thus the Voracious Vagabond cultural cooking blog was born.

Despite the fact there are a number of other blogs of the same name, I felt this title appropriate considering it would not only involve a hearty appetite (hence the “voracious”) but would also include elements of cultural knowledge and exploration (my wandering between the cultural foods being the “vagabond” portion). In this series of five posts and thus five meals/dishes, though more may follow depending on this blog’s popularity, I will attempt to introduce foods from various cultures. I will include the recipes I’ve created and perfected for years as well as recipes I’ve borrowed long ago from family and friends (though I may have tweaked them here and there). To the best of my abilities I’ll photograph the food I make, but as a fair warning my photography isn’t as great as my cooking or writing. And for those of you on a tight schedule or with culinary skills that fail to extend beyond microwavable dinners (though there’s no shame in that), I will also throw out some of the best restaurants I know that offer the same or similar foods I make.

But wait, there’s more! Aside from all of these fabulous things I will also provide tidbits of why such foods and their ingredients are created and consumed in these various cultures and the significance food holds as whole within these cultures—all given to you through the informative power of fun facts! This blog will be a persuasion for you to become more adventurous in your eats by attempting some cultural foods for yourself, whether creating culinary masterpieces or hitting some local dives for some tasty fair. If you are unaware or simply afraid of the many culinary adventures available from various cultures around the world, fear not; the Voracious Vagabond will walk you through it, one delicious dish at a time.

This isn’t about just eating (though that is the crux of my argument), it’s about becoming active in the world by exploring other cultures, even some of the cultures that exist in our own backyards. Honestly though, who can’t relate through food? It speaks to everyone, everywhere. Food is not just a necessity of life, but a universal language—a connector of people from every age, race, background, or culture.

So get creative, branch out, and eat your heart out.